Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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