i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
