Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
