distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
