I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
