i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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