I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
