I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
