Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize