I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
