As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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