Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
