I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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