hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We are two peas in an std pod
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
