There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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