Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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