After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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