I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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