Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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