Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
