Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
