don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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