My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
