I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
