wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
