my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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