It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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