thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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