can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
