Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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