does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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