I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
