You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
