I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
