I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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