I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
