Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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