My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
