can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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