i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
