i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
