I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
