So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
