brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize