Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
