it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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