put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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