Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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