I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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