So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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