the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize