yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize