dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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