she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i dont even know how to be here
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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