Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so let's talk penis.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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