He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
