So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
