I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Shame - the story of my life.
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