Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
BRING THE BAGELS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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