i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
