is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
