He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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