I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
