We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
