If that was your dad, he is hot
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
