I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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