his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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