Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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