So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
